10 Influence Tools Transcript One – Hypnotic Language Patterns.
I’m going to begin with something that is not only powerful but that is simple, easy to use. Something that you can begin layering into your conversations right away and something that is a great introduction to the wonderful world of hypnotic persuasion and influence that you’re getting in this program.
People have taught entire courses on hypnotic and persuasive language patterns alone. In this very quick audio lesson, I’ve shaved away the waffle and the extraneous information and am going to give you only what you need to understand the most powerful patterns and to begin using them in everyday life.
Is this the final word on the subject of hypnotic language patterns? No, it isn’t. But, similar to when you’re traveling and you know where you are and where you want to get to, I’m going to draw you the most direct route. You won’t see all the sights, and you won’t go to every single road on the way, but this CD will get you there quickly, easily and with the least amount of hassle.
So, let me tell you about hypnotic language patterns. Hypnotic language patterns are structures of language that you can use to tap into the persuasive power of the naturally persuasive. Many of the hypnotic language patterns that people teach and that you’ll be learning on this CD come from the work of a famous hypnotherapist named Milton Erickson.
Now, what Milton Erickson noticed was that his psychotherapy clients always structured their problem in certain ways when they came into see him. The way they would describe their problem to
him made an irrational concept seemingly rational, ironclad and absolutely inescapable. All that Milton Erickson did was to dissect their natural ways of framing their problems to make them inescapable and changed that into ways of framing the solutions to the problem to be inescapable. He borrowed the exact same patterns of language and patterns of speech from his psychotherapy clients and used them to create a persuasive and transformational model that anybody can use to help other people create positive and powerful change and move in the direction that they want to move in.
Two people, a mathematician and computer programmer named Richard Bandler and a linguist named John Grinder, broke down the patterns of Milton Erickson into what they call, “The Milton Model.” The Milton Model is a pattern of persuasive language patterns that is used all over, be it in sales, in therapy and motivation, self-help and beyond.
What you’re learning in this CD isn’t pure old fashioned Milton Model. I’ve put my own twist on many of the ideas and I’m going to give you examples that work in a real life context.
But, it’s nice to pay a nod to where these techniques come from and I wanted to tell you that little story about Milton Erickson learning many of these techniques from his clients who were trapped in a problem mindset to allow you to understand that, although these patterns, these ways of structuring your language, are powerful, they’re not unnatural.
You see, many people when they learn these language patterns, often freak out and they say, “Well, hang on, if I start speaking like this in real conversations out in the real world, aren’t people going to stop and go, wow, that guy’s talking weird, is he on drugs or something?” This is a fear which stops many people from
actually using these language patterns in ordinary conversations.
The reality is, you do use these language patterns in ordinary conversations all of the time, they just happen. All you’re learning to do is to use them consciously and to use them deliberately.
You’re learning to use them with care and consideration and to apply these incredibly powerful patterns to where they are useful and where they create the change that you want them to create.
Bear this in mind because it’s incredibly important that you understand this.
The first pattern I’m going to teach you is one that I’ve been using right through this little introduction that you’ve just heard, and the more savvy of you may have noticed. It’s called the “embedded command,” or the “embedded suggestion.” It’s quite sneaky. It’s quite underhanded. So I urge you to recognize that this is not the “be all and end all” of persuasion, it’s simply a natural and innocent way to make your own suggestions more powerful, to bring out the action and the impact in your language.
The way they work is by hiding or slipping a suggestion within an ordinary sentence, an ordinary, innocent phrase.
For example, previously when I said, “When you learn these language patterns and begin using them in the real world,” you may have noticed that I changed my tonality when I said, “…learn these language patterns.” And when I said, “…begin using them in the real world.” I exaggerated it for the purposes of this audio training program to make it easier for you to pick up on the difference. However, when doing these things out in the real world, you can be that obvious and you know what, you’re really not going to get caught. And yes, you can be afford to be alot more subtle.
By changing your tonality on certain phrases in your speech, you mark them out to the subconscious mind, the part of the mind which is infinitely more receptive to ideas, which is infinitely more responsive to suggestions and which is infinitely less critical and defensive and allows them to pick up on these command nuggets and begin acting on them in the subconscious level.
Milton Erickson was quite playful with these techniques and would get people to do things like scratch their nose by embedding a command within an ordinary sentence, just for the fun of getting people to do that. He’d say something like, “You don’t need to start from scratch because everybody knows,” simple things like that. Notice the embedded commands on “scratch” and “knows.” It’s a little silly and there is some skepticism over whether stuff like that actually does work.
In my experience, yes it does. So do go out there and play with it. But recognize that embedded suggestions are a powerful way to bring impact into the command or the action taking parts of your suggestion and of your persuasive phrases. Get into the habit of whenever you say something good, something that you want people to do that is good for them; just make a minor shift in tonality.
So if you’re asking somebody, “Do you feel good this morning?” instead of raising your tonality implying a question, “Do you feel good this morning?” Lower your tonality and make it an embedded command, “Do you feel good this morning?” People won’t notice and people won’t think you’re sounding weird.
However, because you’re layering in all these positive suggestions to feel good, to feel happy, to learn these language patterns easily, not only will you gain experience and practice with these suggestions and with these techniques, people around you will
also start feeling good as well because you’re planting this idea within their subconscious mind. And if people around you feel good, it’s not only good for you, it’s also good for them and that is fantastic isn’t it?
So, that is embedded commands or embedded suggestions, a very powerful Milton Model pattern which you can begin using easily now.
Now, the next pattern is one that I just used there and it’s another one which I think is somewhat over-taught, but it’s useful to be aware of. And that’s a tag question. Now they’re powerful, aren’t they?
The way tag questions are used is you add a little tag on the end of a statement or command. “You feel good, don’t you?” And that is a way of making sure people receive your embedded suggestions without “catching you out,” and it’s very powerful, isn’t it?
All you’re doing is adding a little “isn’t it, don’t they, aren’t they, yeah?” little tiny questions, tag questions on the end of a statement or a command. This makes your embedded command so much more subtle.
For example, when I gave you the drop in tonality when you ask people, “Do you feel good this morning?” instead of “Do you feel good this morning?” with the upwards tonality, you may have thought, “Yeah, that sounds all very well, but I reckon people might start thinking I’m talking a bit weird if I run around commanding, do you feel good this morning, with a very lowered tonality,” so all you do is add the tag question on the end. You still give the embedded suggestion with the lowered tonality of a command, but, by tagging on the tag question, “…don’t you?” you remove any doubt. You make it acceptable to the conscious mind
and you immediately package the experience up in a way which the conscious mind renders as normal, therefore is safe to go through to the unconscious mind, be accepted by the un- or subconscious parts of the mind and acted upon without conscious interference or critique.
So, “Do you feel good this morning, don’t you?” is grammatically incorrect, isn’t it? So, you could simply ask someone, “You feel good this morning,” with a lower inflection, “…don’t you?” with a higher inflection. “You feel good this morning,” lower inflection, “…don’t you?” with a higher inflection.
And it really is easy to learn these language patterns now, isn’t it?
Notice how these two patterns fit together easily and begin assimilating this knowledge and practicing this stuff out in the real world.
When you actually get good at this stuff, you don’t want to become an embedded command monster going around lowering your tonality and slipping in sneaky, manipulative commands everywhere. It doesn’t work like that. Just use them to help move your suggestions and your statements along and to give them a little more impact.
Yes, this is incredibly powerful but don’t overdo it. However, when you’re practicing, feel free to go a little over the top simply to get used to how it feels to add more commands into your sentences, to speak with more authority and to use tag questions with effect, so that people really get the stuff without even noticing, don’t they? And that really is powerful.
Another benefit of a tag question, beyond making your embedded suggestion seem so much more innocent, is that they cause the mind of the person you’re speaking with to start looking for
reasons why what you said is true and accepting it, even though, on the surface level, “don’t they,” and, “do they not,” sort of implies to search for reasons why what you said is not true.
Conversational convention in the English language means that we only use tag questions confidently as a throw away, like “don’t they?” or “aren’t they?” when what we know or what we’re saying is more or less universally accepted to be true.
Now, obviously, if you said the preceding sentence, “You feel good this morning, don’t you?” with an upwards inflection like a question, and you made the tag question an even higher upwards inflection, then it does sound like a genuine question. But, a command followed by a tag question makes it seems like it is naturally accepted and hides your embedded command. And that really is very, very powerful.
So, we’ve done the tag question. We’ve done the embedded command. Powerful stuff. Let’s move on to the bind.
The single bind is the more you do something, the more you do something else. You’re connecting two events together. The mind likes to draw connections. When you tie one idea to the other, you can get the unconscious mind working automatically to cause positive changes without you even having to think about it.
The more you think about these ideas, the more you realize just how easy they are to use in every day conversation. The more you do this, the more you do that, you’re tying the ideas together in an easy to understand knot that causes a circle of success. The more you do one thing, the more you do the other. And since the more you do A, the more you do B, the more you do B also the more you’ll do A. Since the more you listen to my voice, the more you understand the stuff, the more you understand the stuff, the more you listen to my voice. And the more you listen to my voice,
the more you understand the stuff.
The more you use the stuff in the real world, the more you realize just how easy it is to make other people feel great. And the more you realize just how easy it is to make other people feel great, the more you use this stuff in the real world.
Notice how powerful this is and notice the positive cycles, the positive binds that you can use to get people positively into their own benefit.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Well that just sounds weird, I can’t go around saying to people the more you drive your car, the more you feel good about driving, because that’s just silly. Or the more you cycle, the more you feel good about exercising and the more you exercise, the more you feel good about cycling. That’s just ridiculous; people are going to think that I’m crazy.” Well, no. Start tuning into ordinary conversations. You’ll notice that people use this stuff all the time. People say, “The more my boyfriend talks, the more I get annoyed at him.” Or, “The more I have to read this book, the more I realize it’s all rubbish.”
They use it all the time but mostly for negative things. All you’re doing is taking these ordinary quirks of English language that are incredibly powerful psychologically and you’re converting them to the positive. You’re taking them away from things that are harmful and limiting and moving them to things that are positive and empowering.
I can’t emphasize this enough because the more you realize that these patterns are used all the time naturally in every day conversation, the more you can use them deliberately to get the results you want. And the easier you realize these patterns are, the easier they are to use deliberately in all conversation.
It doesn’t have to be “the more, the more.” It can be “the easier, the easier, the bigger, the better, the harder, the easier”, any two concepts tied together can make a powerful bind.
Now, in traditional NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the discipline created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder when they analyzed the patterns that Milton Erickson, the psychotherapist who I told you about used with his patients, started doing this, they used what I just taught you, they labeled that, “the single bind.” And what they labeled, “the double bind,” was the illusion of choice.
Now this comes with a caveat, don’t be crass and sneaky and horrible with this one like many salespeople are and even some people who’ve read one NLP book and they get the idea of this pattern in their head and they become absolute monsters with it and they do really stupid things, in my opinion. However, surprisingly enough, even this technique used clumsily can be better than this technique not used at all.
Remember though, the point of this is to use patterns that we naturally use in conversations for harmful things to help liberate people and instead of trapping them in harmful cycles, you’re making them secure in positive cycles.
The double bind or the illusion of choice is when the salesman says to you, “Would you like to sign this form with that pen or that pen?” Or when the hypnotist says to you, “Will you go into a trance in this chair or that chair?” You’re giving the illusion of choice but no matter which outcome they choose, the result is always going to be the same.
So please, don’t be yet another salesman going, “Would you like to buy this car – embedded command, very clever – in blue or black? Hahaha, aren’t I clever?” Because one little bind alone isn’t
going to make the world of difference unless you do it subtly.
The way to do this subtly is to first, always use the stuff positively to help people achieve what they want to anyway and lock them securely in a cycle of freedom rather than the old trap problems that they had before and second, make the options more subtle.
So you’ll either feel good about learning and understanding these patterns and making them part of your everyday conversation or, you’ll realize that these patterns are things that you naturally do anyway and all you need to do is change them to the positive and use them to get more of what you want.
Notice that the two are more or less the same, they both involve you learning these patterns and using them to get more of what you want in conversation, but they’re so structurally different and even the surface level meaning is different, that they’re almost impossible to detect. Use this with elegance and subtlety because when you do that, you’ll either become a master of using language to change emotions, feelings and beliefs, or, you’ll simply realize how easy it is to motivate people to create powerful changes on the unconscious level.
If you’re using this in a sales setting – I’ll go back to the car analogy just to give you an idea of how easy it is to make this more subtle, even with concrete terms – you could say, “Look, I know you’ll either leave here having made a purchase that you’re happy with or, you’ll drive away in a brand new car feeling fantastic about what you’re taking home.” Even that was far more subtle than the simple, obvious and crass, “Would you like it in blue or black?” However, it still creates the either/or illusion of choice whilst both outcomes result in the person you’re speaking to feel good and achieving the outcome they and you want for them.
So, that is the double bind, the illusion of choice. Make it subtle, make it deep, and don’t be crass and superficial and horrible.
Really think and really expand on the two options, or three options, or ten options you have for them. They’re all seen as different and have real differences on the surface, but ultimately and deeply lead them to where they want to be.
Because this pattern is so powerful, when you learn it and when you use it, and when you combine it with the single bind and when you combine it with your embedded commands and your tag questions, which, after you’ve listened to this audio, when you go back through it again, you’ll notice and I’ve been doing it all the way throughout this program, to let you know that the more you learn these patterns, the more you’ll either realize that they’re easy, natural and effortless or, that with a little practice, you’ll find yourself using them naturally in everyday conversations, won’t you?
Now, the next pattern that I need to teach you and that you can’t really miss out on is another one that I’ve been layering right throughout this audio lesson. And that’s called the presupposition.
I’m going to teach you the presupposition of time and the presupposition of awareness. We’re going to begin with the presupposition of awareness.
By using words like “realize,” “notice,” “become aware,” “discover,” you imply that something has already happened or, is already happening. The question isn’t whether it’s happened or whether it hasn’t happened, the question is merely whether they’re aware that it’s happened, whether they have noticed that it’s happened, whether they have realized that it’s happened.
I don’t know whether you’ve realized yet that you’re already
beginning to notice yourself becoming aware of just how easy these language patterns are. When I say a sentence like that, and obviously I exaggerated it to make it easy for you to pick up on, the question becomes not whether it really is easy for you to use these patterns, but it’s simply whether you’ve realized how easy it is for you to use these patterns.
Begin to notice the power of presuppositions of awareness. Notice I used one again. These are things that I use all the time throughout conversation and they make it far easier for you to get a point across, without being objectionable. Because the issue isn’t whether or not what you say is true, the issue is simply whether the person you’re speaking to has realized it’s true or not. Really, really, powerful stuff.
The next one is the presupposition of time. Now this is really, really powerful and another one that’s probably a little overdone by the overzealous salesmen of today. Instead of, “if” you’re going to do something, the question is “when?” “When you buy this car, Mr. Gullible Customer,” it’s not cool to use it so obviously.
However, you can use presuppositions of time more subtly by using what I call or what has been termed by other people, “a future memory.”
This is when you put something that’s happened in the future into the past. So, when you look back on making the decision to purchase this car, or when you look back on having mastered these language patterns, when you look back on having gotten over this problem, when you look back on or, it’s cool to look forward to remembering something that hasn’t yet happened. So when you look forward to remembering just how great it was the first time you naturally used hypnotic language patterns whilst realizing what you were doing and creating the effect that you wanted, you’ll know just how powerful this stuff really is.
You’re putting something in the future that’s a “maybe” into the past as a “certainty,” as something that’s already happened.
When you look forward now to looking back on just how great you will feel when you know that you’ve mastered this stuff and that you can do this stuff easily.
It’s cool to remember that feeling of realization, of knowing, that you are a master of hypnotic language patterns. And I bet that felt great, didn’t it?
Notice the naturally entrancing effect, the consciously distorting effect, that even got me a little tied up there as a speaker, because I did that one on the fly, of moving things back and forward in time.
Suddenly there’s no question of whether or not something is true. The only question is when it happened. And I’m sure you’re beginning to realize that this stuff is really, really powerful.
Now, the trick with hypnotic language patterns is sort of like money. If you get a two dollar coin, and think, “Well, I’ve got this two dollar coin, it’s really cool, I’m going to go buy something,” you’ll realize that you really can’t buy a lot with it. But if you get one two dollar coin and one five dollar note and one ten dollar note and one twenty dollar note and one fifty dollar note, you’ll be able to buy something that’s worth a lot more money. By combining these patterns together, you create something that is very, very powerful.
So, listen to this audio again. I’ve made it deliberately entrancing and have constantly used these patterns throughout. From the embedded command, lowering your tonality to suggest action, to the tag question, a little quick question tagged onto the end of an embedded command to make it seem innocent like a question and to make it seem implied and accepted, isn’t it? Or the bind,
the more you listen to this, the more you realize how easy this is to use in the real world. Or the double bind, which you’ll either start using naturally right away or discover it’s so easy to learn, you don’t even have to think about doing it easily in the real world. Or the presupposition of awareness which you may have realized is incredibly powerful. Or the presupposition of time which I’m sure you’ll look forward to remembering as being something that you knew that you’d mastered, way off when you understood the power of this stuff.
This stuff is very, very powerful. And because these are things that you naturally use in the real world, it means that you can use the stuff far easier than you ever thought you could.
I’m going to leave you with two quick language patterns that no training program on language patterns is complete without because these two provide the base structure for all language patterns, more or less, and come into many of the patterns that I’ve covered for you.
The first is cause and effect. Despite the fact that we’re speaking to people’s subconscious mind, it’s good to have the cooperation of the conscious faculties as well. People like to have a reason for things. Even if the reason’s illogical, it provides a source, an emotional basis for action. So it helps to use the word “because.” End every sentence with “because” and then give a little reason. This works really well because people like to have reasons for things. You can feel good today because today’s a good day.
Notice they don’t have to be rationally ironclad. Just give a because. This causes you to be more persuasive. “Causes” is another one. This causes you to be more persuasive. Listening to this audio causes you to become good at using hypnotic language patterns. Which means – and “which means” is another great one
– you will naturally become good at this stuff.
All these patterns of cause also combined with the word “when” – “when you do this, you’ll do that” – are very persuasive and they are very powerful. Tag these onto other things. Integrate this naturally into ordinary conversations.
Like the cause and effect pattern, another very common and powerful pattern is pacing and leading. In sales terms, they call it “a yes set” or “a yes ladder.” By building up positive responses, you get people more used to agreeing with you positively. Like the cause and effect pattern, this has often been over simplified.
However, the reason why I’m tagging it on right at the end of this audio, after spending a lot of time giving you powerful information about cause and effect and especially about binds and presupposition and embedded commands, is that it’s nice to realize that your goal in conversation is to build up positive responses.
The way this is traditionally taught in sales is to get people to say, “Yes,” to five simple questions and they’re more likely to say “Yes” to the sixth question. “Mr. Jones, you live in New York?” “Yes.” “You own a car?” “Yes.” “You’re the homeowner?” “Yes.” “You are in full time employment?” “Yes.” “You’re married?” “Yes.” “You want to buy a package holiday to Uzbekistan?” “Yes.”
Well, obviously that’s an exaggerated example, but many of these patterns as I said before, are taught in a very basic, crass and inelegant way. The reason why I’m teaching these to you quickly at the end is so you get the fact that you do want to build up positive responses, say things that people agree with by speaking to them in their own language. They don’t have to be explicit yes or no questions, say things that people agree with.
“We’ve had a great meal, it’s been a fantastic day, I’m feeling a
little tired and I reckon you are too. But, let’s go somewhere else. “
Or, “Yeah, it’s been really hard trying to figure this problem out. I’ve been trying, you’ve been trying. You’ve tried in the past and it’s been really problematic, but I know that in the future you’re going to realize just how easy it is to make a breakthrough. And when you remember having made that breakthrough and feel good about how great it was to make that transformation, you’ll know just how easy it was to have changed and you’ll look forward to other challenges being met with confidence and power because you’ve unlocked your own potential which causes you to find it so easy to move through the world and achieve what you want.”
Notice the language patterns that I structured into that sentence. The ones I want you to pay particular attention to are the pacing and leading, the building up of positive responses by saying things that are truisms, that are obviously and verifiably true, by using mind reads, speaking to people in a way which empathizes with them – which we’ll do more on in a future lesson, but if you know someone well, particularly this is easy to do – and also by throwing in the cause and effect, the “because,” the combination of pacing and leading, saying things which are true and “because” is very powerful.
You’re listening to this audio recording and you’re paying attention to my voice, which causes you to understand the stuff easily. Notice how simple it is and notice how these things tie together and notice why I’ve just taught you this at the end so that you can loop it around your knowledge that you’ve just gained of these existing language patterns and begin putting it into use.
The actual language patterns you’ve learned in this audio recording are not unique. What is unique in my opinion and what I don’t think is found in other training programs and what I really wanted to give you in this, is the real understanding that these language patterns are not new ways of thinking and new ways of speaking, they are ways of speaking that we speak in all the time. You’re just using them more consciously and for better reasons.
Secondly, the emphasis here is on elegance. Do not just become another barbarian hypnotist using all these patterns crassly because that’s not very effective.
And thirdly, the emphasis on combining these patterns like money to create something greater than the sum of its parts and to allow you to really create something of power and impact.
I’ve been using hypnosis to teach hypnosis big time throughout this audio recording. So as you go back and listen to it and unlock the secrets of this recording, know that you’re learning both consciously and unconsciously, and realize that there’s more to what you’ve discovered in this program than what you’ve discovered in this program.
I’ll be seeing you on the next lesson where I’ll be teaching you something which is simpler and which is very, very powerful. Something that you can use in combination with these patterns or on its own to completely shake people out of their reality, to overcome almost any resistance, to completely stop people in their tracks, make an unforgettable first impression and, create a response of true power.
It’s called the pattern interrupt and it goes way further than just the hypnotic handshake interrupt induction.